For the past 9 months, my husband and I have been living with my parents. For the most part, it has been a good experience; my parents are super easy to live with and we all have good relationships. I'm so blessed because I know that doesn't always happen. But that being said, there are some things I've had to learn (and am still learning) about this season in life. If any of you have ever lived with your parents, I'd love to read some tips in the comments as well! I know not everyone has the same experience (some parents are terrible to live with), so some tips from a different point of view are helpful, as well.
- Find privacy. Take your bedroom, clean it, keep it clean so you have your own little space to chill out in.
- Don't take it for granted. Appreciate the fact that your parents love you enough to take you (and even your spouse) back in for a while. Savor the good parent/daughter moments.
- Make your bedroom your own - hang your favorite pictures on the wall, put up your curtains; if you have a rug from your previous apartment, place it on the floor. I should also pull out our bedspread and sheet set to make the bed look like our own.
- Don't make your mom do all the work cleaning and cooking. I've not been as good at this as I should be. I do okay with some cleaning, but I don't cook as often I should.
- Take the time to get to know your parents from more of a peer-to-peer angle, rather than just a parent-child angle. The parent-child dynamic is still there to a certain extent, but now you're all adults, and that should drastically change the relationship (hopefully for the better - less arguments!).
- Don't go near their bedroom when they head there together...haha! And on the same note, take advantage of the time with your spouse when your parents leave the house ;) Or else make a game of it and see how quiet you can be...you know what I'm talking about!! Shhhhh...
- Your parents need some space, too. Head to the other spouse's parents' house for a night or two, go out on a date and leave the kid with someone other than your parents, spend a Saturday together at a park or on the town.
- Surprise your parents with something. A clean house, a cooked candlelight dinner for two, an organized bathroom. If you're living with your parents, odds are that you can't afford to buy a thank-you gift every once in a while, so get creative. (Maybe, if you're crafty, find something in the basement or attic that needs to be re-done and get to re-doing it, using DIY ideas from Pinterest or other blogs)
- Talk with your spouse often. If you're living with your own parents, he is probably going to have some issues that need to be worked out. Be compassionate and put yourself in his shoes (what if you were living with your in-laws?). Help him out in any way you can, and give him a lot of grace. If you're the one living with in-laws, talk to your spouse about what you're feeling, what you're wanting, what is frustrating you. Don't hold it in and assume you just need to get over it. That's what your spouse is there for, to support you and hold you in the difficult times.
- Don't forget about your in-laws. They may want a piece of you, as well. Go spend the night or the weekend at their house, and consider splitting the time living with your parents into two so the in-laws can have you, as well (or your spouse can get a break from your own parents).
- Look to see what God is teaching you from it. Humility? Trust? Learning to respect your parents?
- Keep an eye on the goal. You're not going to be staying with your parents forever. You will have your own place again, someday. There will be hard days, but they will pass, and this season will come to an end eventually. And there will be things that you will miss about it.
